Very excited to have Dr. Robert Glover, on The Lonely Podcast. Dr. Glover is the author of several books including No More Mr. Nice Guy, and Dating Essentials for Men He has a Ph.D. in family and marriage therapy and has been helping individuals from all over the world to change their lives for the better. In our conversation, we talked about what is the Nice Guy Syndrome. How do you identify that you have a problem? why seeking women’s approval is usually detrimental to oneself, gender identity and the current challenges for young men and women in today’s world, the path for changing oneself, the importance of building strong relationships with men, how to date, and much more. As I noted in our conversation, the book No More Mr. Nice Guy had a considerable impact on my life and though it was written over 20 years ago, it is more relevant today than ever. Dr. Glover has a wonderful ability to break down complicated topics and put them in simple, easy-to-understand terms. He did that multiple times during our conversation. This is not the last time I’ll be speaking with Dr. Glover so if you have questions or a subject you think we should explore further please let us know by commenting or sending an email to podsolitude@gmail.com
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction
02:43 - Who is Mr. Nice Guys?
06:42 - The Two Categories of Nice Guys
12:45 - Why Nice Guys Are Not Self Aware?
14:08 - I'm So Good vs. I'm So Bad Nice Guy
16:03 - The Victimization Paradigm
22:25 - What is Borrowed Function and Why it Destroys Relationships
27:44 - The Origins of The Nice Guys Syndrome Explained
36:01 - Why No More Mr. Nice Guy is Relevant Today More Than Ever
40:16 - Gender and The Identity Crisis
49:17 - How Nice Guys Use Covert Contracts in Relationships
54:55 - The Problem With Seeking Women's Approval
58:49 - Sex As a Form of Approval From Women
60:01 - How To Change and Stop Being Mr. Nice Guy?
69:11 - Why Building Strong Relationships With Other Men is Important
71:36 - How to Date Better?
78:51 - How to Gain Confidence With Women?
80:39 - Who is The Integrated Man (The Recovered Nice Guy)
82:19 - Dr. Robert Glover's Book And Movie Recommendations
LINKS TO DR. GlOVER’S BOOK AND MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS:
BOOKS:
The Odyssey by Homer - https://www.amazon.com/Odyssey-Homer/dp/0393089053/ref=asc_df_0393089053/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312009759033&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8696806884140797220&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028776&hvtargid=pla-386229716788&psc=1&mcid=e0774ce9a4a038eb9c7446552cdb1386&gclid=Cj0KCQiAwP6sBhDAARIsAPfK_wa9aaQNR-p9VC5xblkh0w6fSNOs2JpXxpEW2UROoKwEK24qRF8fy6oaAicOEALw_wcB
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk - https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Club-Novel-Chuck-Palahniuk/dp/0393327345
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway - https://www.amazon.com/Old-Man-Sea-Ernest-Hemingway/dp/0684801221
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida - https://www.amazon.com/The-Way-of-Superior-Man-audiobook/dp/B07FXZBYJ9/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=598611057012&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9028776&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=11050140863465850319&hvtargid=kwd-1126389782&hydadcr=15527_13558519&keywords=the+way+of+the+superior+man&qid=1705015018&sr=8-1
Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch PhD - https://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0393334279/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=174232210495&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9028776&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6920176993297271473&hvtargid=kwd-2744782865&hydadcr=24630_9648900&keywords=passionate+marriage+book&qid=1705015109&sr=8-1
MOVIES:
American Beauty - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169547/
Fight Club - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0137523/
300 - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/
Schindler's List - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108052/